Front and Finish :: The Dog Trainer's News

In our continuing efforts to share information with dog lovers everywhere, Front & Finish is happy to present Melinda Wichmann's glossary of "dog people" language. Melinda explains she has defined "the words and phrases that have worked their way into the daily vocabulary of my friends and I, and often leave non-dog spouses and friends scratching their heads in confusion" Scratch no more! Here are the definitions you have been searching for!
	FOOD Crunchy/Chruncies: This denotes food with actual nutritional value, regardless of texture, i.e. bowl of kibble, chicken back, etc. Some dogs think their crunchies should be served promptly at 6 a.m. and 5 p.m. Chewies: This indicates a chewable snack item offered with the intent to keep the dog occupied for more than 5 minutes.
Cookies: This is typically given as a reward and is frequently "people" food, i.e. "My husband just ate my dog's cookies!" Breakfast Cookies: Pretty much just another excuse to give a dog a treat, regardless of their mealtime. Bedtime Cookie: Ditto
	GROOMING Dogtowel: One step below a "good" bathroom towel and one step above the grease rag for the shop. May be used as "good" towel depending on status of household laundry. Dogdryer: Good for blowing water out of dogs' coats and blowing cobwebs from corners. Fluff and Buff: Heavy duty grooming session including bath, blow dry, serious brushing, paw and ear trimming, ear cleaning and tooth scaling. Blow and Go: Bath followed by minimal grooming.
BODILY FUNCTIONS Hurf: Vomit as in "Your dog hurfed in my shoe." Yak: Similar to hurf in sound but without production of stomach contents as in "My dog just yakked, You might want to move your shoes." Eye Boogies: Generally refers to some kind of boogery stuff in or near the dog's eye. Also called eye goober. Removal embarrasses dog before going into the ring. The don't want their friends to see. Butt stickies: Something unpleasant stuck near the dog's butt. A.K.A. butt crusties or cling-ons. Dogs are adverse to removal.
	Good poop: This is self-explanatory. Surprise poop: So is this. Bad poop: No explanation required. Double D: Occurs when walking two dogs at once and they both poop (Double Dump) Point and shoot: A dog who pees quickly on command. "My boys are point and shoot dogs." Gone nekked: To have blown coat and not have any fur. "My dog has gone nekked."
EQUIPMENT Leash: Any one of the 48 leashes found in the house, van or gear bag. The leash closest at hand is guaranteed not to be the one you want. Crate: Canine containment device that causes friction between dog trainer and their non-dog training spouses, The minimum crate to dog ration is 3:1. Often more is better. Fuzzy: Any toy. Your spouses underwear may not, under any circumstances, be substituted for a fuzzy. Crate fuzzy: Any variety of blanket or crate pad. For some dogs this may be pretty much the same thing as a fuzzy.
	COMPETING Walk/ to walk/ have walked/ are walking: the act of walking an agility course and trying to decide if the judge runs a big dog, small dog or forgot to take their medication the day they designed the course. Runs: This refers to your performance with your dog, not an intestinal dysfunction as in, "You had beautiful runs today." How soon are you up?: The truly impossible question with no right answer, especially if you just said, "Next." Yee-hawin': Think Dukes of Hazard or anything NASCAR related. To run the agility course with reckless abandon thinking only about speed usually at the expense of one or more obstacles. Rent-a-handler: The friend you get to take your other dog in for sits and downs when there's only one in the group. Lunch: Where the judge goes after sits and downs when you're the first dog in the next group. Pulled: As in, "I pulled from Open. I think I'm going to hurf." Weave pole dance: Contortions performed by the handler to inspire the dog to weave faster.
BEHAVIORS Butt goose: The forceful application of a dog's nose to a human backside. Christmas goose: A butt goose administered in December. Butt scoot: The dog's act of wiping his butt. "Your dog just butt-scooted across my dining room carpet." Running amuck: Dog is having a party by himself while everyone at the trial is watching. Also known as the zoomies or the rips. Hairy eyeball: The look you get from your dog when attempting to remove butt stickies. Also the look you get from your spouse when you announce you're going to be gone this weekend- again. Beg: What my dogs do at my husband's end of the table. Offer behaviors: What my dogs do at my end of the table. Nesting: What a dog does before going to sleep. This can involve burrowing into or under the crate fuzzy, removing or trying to eat the crate fuzzy. These behaviors may translate to your bed, recliner, sleeping bag, etc. regardless of whether you are occupying them at the time or not.
	Mammogram: When a large dog leaps enthusiastically up to see you and lands with one paw on each... well... you get the picture. Drive-by: Your dog runs at you enthusiastically, launches into the air, makes contact with the hand holding the cookie or toy and takes off again. Tervania: Where Tervuren brains go when they encounter something they simply do not wish to deal with. Free sniffs: What Dog A gets when Dog B backs up to his face. Snitz: What Dog B does when she realizes her butt is in Dog A's face and she did not authorize any sniffing. The Look: Very similar to the hairy eyeball but precedes an act of canine mischief. Deer in the headlights look: Usually seen in the Utility ring during the signal exercise. After Jamie failed Utility signals four trials in a row at a summer UKC weekend at Ft. Dodge, Iowa, I began calling this the "Fort Dodge Look."
Aryn Steres has a dog who gets.........	The Snarks: extended fits of backward sneezing. Her dog, Shady, gets this at least once a week.
Sandy Weaver Carman, Atlanta, sends in her favorites Catherine Crabtree of Dawson, GA has some more Linda Rehkopf of Marietta, Ga adds:	Butt-dance: the side-to-side motion girly-girls do when getting scratched at the base of their tail nearly always accompanied by a satisfied look on the face complete with squinty eyes. Work one up: a really good trialing dog can "work one up" on command before going into the ring, so as not to incur a "surprise poop" in the ring. Ambipisstrous: a male dog who can urinate with either leg elevated is ambipisstrous. Pork-chop-nekkid: how a double coated dog looks when completely shed out-poor dog will need a pork chop to get other dogs to play! Bunny-butt: the Nascar inspired crazy run your puppy has to let outin the living room each night at 7:30pm, similar in style to a bunny running with it's butt tucked, also seen in adult Siberians at Agility trials. Static Cross: when a handler is waiting the 5 count at the pause table and nervous movement creates static cling in her new Nike shorts. Gimme Belly: the command given by dogs to handlers to rub their stomach immediately! Crawl: the cute trick I taught my dog that he only remembers during the long dosn exercise. Your pup's up 1) Said by husband, meaning your puppy is awake and you need to be, too; usually said at 3:00a.m. or 2) Heard by owner during a terrific dream at 3:00 a.m. when said by husband means, "Oh my gosh, I've missed the start," at which point owner awakes and shakes the husband who should have taken the pup out and now it is too late. or 3) Said by steward to owner, which causes owner to sweat and shake uncontrollably. Snarf: The act of a dog eating a kittie crunchie or doggie doo, i.e. "Your dog just snarfed my cat's litter box!" Butt tuck: The act of a dog running round and round, usually on carpet in the room most occupied with its butt just off the floor. Not to be confused with the butt scootch.

An anonymous friend suggests:	Two-fer: What you get when your dog poops and pees during the same squat. (A nice feature during cold weather.)
See what Brady Turner from Boise found in his yard:	Kittie Fritters: the "presents" that your neighbor's cat leaves in your flower bed and your dog loves to eat!
Stephanie Rae's dog enjoys:	Almond Roca: what the dog gets out of the cat box.
Dena Hudson from Marietta GA is alert to:	Hurka Jerk: the sound a dog makes right before it vomits. You have only a split second to take preventative measures!
Dede Freeman is watching for the:	Mark: the look her schipperke gets when she locks in on something just before starting the heeling pattern in the obedience ring.
Dee Scott also has Schipperkes	Snifferkees: what to call Dee's dogs at an outdoor show

Got a "Wichmannism" of your own to share with our Dog Family? Forward your contributions for consideration to cindi@frontandfinish.com. Please include your name and hometown so we may include it with your favorite non-Webster vocabulary word.